


I tried to make it right, tell me that it's not too late

by Shadowcrawler, unwindmyself



Series: follow me down the rabbit hole [9]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, F/F, Face-Sitting, Femslash, Hurt/Comfort, Light Bondage, Post-Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-20
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-06-09 14:13:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6910519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowcrawler/pseuds/Shadowcrawler, https://archiveofourown.org/users/unwindmyself/pseuds/unwindmyself
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jemma and Daisy are both feeling vulnerable and lonesome, and Bobbi's room is empty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I tried to make it right, tell me that it's not too late

**Author's Note:**

> As far as we're concerned, the canon relationships are less significant and also polyamory is involved. It makes everything better!

It’s a long, horrible ride back to the Playground. Everybody is silent, keeping separate from each other - for a while, Fitz comes to sit with Jemma, putting an arm around her shoulders but even then neither of them are saying anything, and he disappears to check on something mechanical (she presumes) a good hour before they land - and keeping their distance from Daisy.

Jemma feels like the worst girlfriend in the world for keeping her distance from Daisy, but she’s too afraid to try to do anything. She doesn’t want to make it worse.

They get back and Jemma’s the first one off the plane, and if anyone asks her she’s prepared to say she’s running for the lab in case anyone needs any additional medical attention, but nobody asks. Everyone seems preoccupied with their own thoughts. She hides in the lab for a good ten minutes, prepared to follow through on the lie she didn’t have to tell, before she gives up and heads for her room.

Amendment: for Bobbi’s room. It may as well still be Bobbi’s because nobody has moved in permanently since she left, although this isn’t the first night Jemma has wound up crashing in there. It’s closer than her own, bigger, and occasionally, if she’s very lucky, she’ll still catch a hint of Bobbi’s scent in the air. It’s one of those things she could never admit but that she’s come to rely on in the last few horrible weeks. Anyway, it’s a safe place: nobody else seems to want to chase ghosts, so she’s left alone, but not exactly alone, either.

Jemma is very good at approximating togetherness without actually being near anyone. That may be the best skill she learned from her stint in outer space.

 

* * *

 

Daisy’s stumbling down the hall, still kind of in a daze and not really in the mood to talk to anybody. She’s spent the last half hour throwing stuff around in the training room (she’s gonna put it all back later, Coulson will understand) and before that she spent the whole trip back to the Playground crying. She’s not even sure if whatever they had was really love or just something she needed at the time, but either way she feels guilty and horrible and it sucks.

She’s planning on just going to her room and sleeping forever maybe, but then she hears some noises coming from Bobbi’s old room. Nobody’s been in Bobbi’s room since...well, Bobbi. Daisy goes over to listen at the door for a minute, then when the noises are still going on, gently opens it.

“Hello?” she asks, her voice a gross creak.

Jemma’s over at the bureau, and she whirls around with a shriek. “Daisy!” she exclaims, one hand held to her heart, the other steadied on an open drawer.

“Hey,” Daisy croaks, trying for a smile. “What are you doing?”

“It’s pathetic,” Jemma mumbles. “I’m…”

“What?” Daisy asks, her voice going softer automatically. “What, honey?”

Jemma sighs. There’s no use lying to Daisy. “I was going to put on one of her shirts,” she whispers, pulling said item out of the drawer. “It’s comforting.”

Daisy laughs. It doesn’t sound particularly happy, but it’s all she can muster. “Doesn’t sound so bad, yeah. Is there another one for me?”

“Yeah,” Jemma says. “I… come take your pick?” She doesn’t move, though. She doesn’t want Daisy to feel like _she_ feels like she has to.

“Okay.” Daisy walks over slowly, going to stand beside Jemma and rifle through the drawer. Apparently Bobbi hadn’t been able to pack most of her things, so the drawer contains probably a dozen shirts. She pulls out one that’s bright blue and has the Star Wars logo on it. “This’ll do,” she says, shucking off her own shirt.

“Do you want to stay?” Jemma asks softly. She’s not undressed yet, she could go.

Daisy shrugs, with the shirt halfway up her arms. “I thought you were gonna.”

“I mean, I was, but if… you don’t want…”

“I want,” says Daisy, and it comes out more strongly than she means it to. (Honestly, more strongly than she thought she could speak at this point.) “Please stay, Jem?”

Jemma bites her lips together and nods. “Whatever you need,” she says softly, beginning to strip out of her clothes.

Daisy slips Bobbi’s shirt on the rest of the way and then glances over at Jemma. “I’m sorry,” she says, her voice very small.

“What for?” Jemma asks instantly, brows knitting together. “I… I don’t…” See anything to apologize for, she means, but she doesn’t want to discount Daisy’s feelings, so she stops herself.

“Just…” Daisy sighs and it comes out more like a sob. “Hive. Lincoln. Everything.”

Jemma gets her own of Bobbi’s shirts on fast as she can and reaches for Daisy, not yet touching but reaching. “None of it is your fault,” she insists. “None of it, all right?”

Daisy hangs her head, not looking Jemma in the eyes. “It doesn’t feel like it.”

“Could we…?” Jemma nods toward the bed.

Daisy nods and shuffles in that direction. “Okay,” she murmurs.

Jemma sits on the bed with her legs folded underneath her and reaches again for Daisy’s hands, hesitant but clear in her meaning. “I know it feels that way,” she begins, “but there’s… Hive wouldn’t even have been found and brought back if it wasn’t for me.”

Almost absentmindedly, Daisy takes Jemma’s hands and sits down on the bed next to her. “Maybe,” she says dully. “Or maybe he would’ve found his way here no matter what we did. Because of destiny and shit.”

“And shit,” Jemma repeats, frowning. “Maybe it’s a little bit everyone’s fault or maybe it’s no one’s fault but Daisy, I… I can’t stand you feeling like it’s yours entirely.”

Daisy flops over on Jemma and whimpers a little. “I don’t really know how to _stop_ feeling like that.”

“I’m afraid I’m not the one to ask,” Jemma sighs, immediately going to pet Daisy’s hair. Well, she’s not exactly known for being able to shuck her own guilt off easily. “But for… for what it’s worth, I’ll keep saying it?”

“Thank you.” Daisy’s voice is very small. “I...I love you.”

“I love you too,” Jemma says. “I mean that more than I’ve ever meant anything.”

Daisy nuzzles into Jemma and sighs. “Can we...I dunno...lie down maybe?”

“Whatever you need,” Jemma says again. “Under the covers?”

Daisy nods.

So Jemma wiggles around to where she can start to pull the covers down, climbs underneath and lets Daisy follow in her own time. “I’ve done this before,” she admits.

Pressing her back against Jemma, Daisy chuckles. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Jemma nods. “First it was ‘oh, this is closer’ after going late in the lab. Then it just sort of… it’s nice here.”

“It is.” Bobbi’s sheets are soft, and they still smell like her a little (and Hunter, unfortunately, but that’s easy enough to ignore), and it’s nice to be in a place she hasn’t been in awhile. It’s helping to quiet her thoughts. “Do you think they’re okay?”

Jemma nods, carefully pulling Daisy close. “I do,” she says. “I think they’ll be okay as long as… well, as long as Hunter doesn’t act too catastrophically like himself.”

Daisy snorts. “That’s asking a lot.” She’s quiet a moment, nestling into Jemma. “I miss her.”

“I miss her too,” Jemma murmurs. “Everything feels a little... less without her.”

“Yeah. And I think she...she would know what to say about all this. To make us all feel better.” She means herself, but she knows Jemma will know that.

Jemma nods, mumbling against Daisy’s shoulder, “I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry about?” Daisy asks, grinning despite herself.

“Everything,” Jemma says. “I’m sorry that you feel so wretched and I’m sorry that there’s not anything I can say that’ll help and I’m sorry that awful things keep happening to you because you don’t deserve that, not at all, you’re lovely and your heart is so big and…” She shakes her head, kissing the spot that previously she’d just been resting against. “All of that.”

“Thank you,” sighs Daisy. With some effort, she rolls over so she’s facing Jemma and asks, a bit hesitantly, “Can we...more of that?”

“Kissing?” Jemma asks, because she wants to be sure.

“Yeah. If that’s okay?”

Jemma nods eagerly. “It’s very okay,” she says, but she doesn’t presume to know _how_ Daisy wants to kiss. She just lies there waiting.

So after a moment, Daisy leans forward to gently kiss Jemma on the lips. It’s been awhile since they’ve been able to do this, and she’s missed it fiercely.

As has Jemma, honestly; Daisy is one of the only things she’s thought about in weeks and it hasn’t been at all for the reasons she’d like, so she’s more than happy about this. She’s not going to push, though, she’s just going to return the kiss, murmuring, “You’re beautiful.”

Daisy sighs into her mouth. “You too.” She slips her arm around Jemma’s back to pull her closer.

“I love being here like this, with you,” Jemma whispers, pressing against Daisy.

“Yes,” whimpers Daisy. “You’re gorgeous.”

“I count myself very lucky to get to touch you,” Jemma says, her eyes wide.

“God.” Daisy reaches up to stroke Jemma’s cheek. “I still can’t believe this sometimes.”

Jemma smiles, clearly proud. “I can’t either,” she says. “That everything lined up so we could… I don’t know where I’d be without you.”

“I don’t either. I mean you, I, and Lincoln, I…” Daisy swallows and pauses for a minute, managing to choke out, “I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t okay.”

“Well, I am,” Jemma says softly, rubbing circles on Daisy’s back. “I’m okay and I’m here and I love you.”

“I love you too,” murmurs Daisy, pressing kisses to Jemma’s neck.

“It’s always easier to breathe when I know you’re okay,” Jemma admits.

Daisy nods. “Yeah, yeah, me too. You’re important.”

Jemma’s shoulders roll. “You too,” she hums. “I’d… I’d have done anything…” She trails off, not sure if this is a good idea but unable to stop herself from at least hinting.

“Thank you,” breathes Daisy. “Thank you, Jemma.”

“Always,” Jemma hums. “Always and forever.”

Daisy answers her with another kiss.

“I want to be the best for you however I can,” Jemma continues, nuzzling into Daisy’s neck before starting to kiss her there.

Sighing, Daisy just closes her eyes sinks into the feeling for a moment, but then she opens them and smirks. “The best, huh?”

“Uh-huh,” Jemma says, serious as can be. “I want that always.”

“How were you thinking?”

Jemma bites her lip shyly. “However you like,” she says. “Ma’am.”

Daisy pauses to think for a moment. This wasn’t exactly how she expected the evening to go, but honestly it’s good to have something to shake her out of her own head. And she’s missed Jemma so much it aches. “How about I climb on?” she asks.

Jemma whimpers, nodding very eagerly. “Yes, please, ma’am, I’d like that.”

Kissing her one last time, Daisy scoots away so Jemma can get comfortable on her back, and wiggling out of her pants and underwear. She reaches to pull off Bobbi’s shirt, then stops and leaves it on.

Which Jemma notices. It feels right, like she’s here with them. “You’re lovely,” she whispers, settling back with a smile.

Daisy sighs - it’s a little shuddery - and arranges herself on top of Jemma’s face. “Thank you,” she says softly. “You too, honey.”

Jemma hums, suddenly feeling fluttery. She gently pulls Daisy down to kiss her, slow at first, not sure yet how to play this but wanting so much to do the right thing. Biting her lip, Daisy closes her eyes. It’s not even like Jemma’s doing that much yet, but it’s something she hasn’t had in so long, and it feels _so_ good.

“Oh,” Jemma exclaims against Daisy’s flesh. “I’ve missed.” Her words are muffled, obviously, but she means them and she doesn’t want to miss any chance to say them.

“Me too,” breathes Daisy. “I…” It’s hard to talk, suddenly.

Jemma begins to lick at Daisy, slow and careful and almost contemplative, hands finding either of her thighs and very softly stroking in a way she doesn’t always get to. Instinct, though, being close after - well, after everything awful.

It’s so tender, which is something Daisy hasn’t had much of lately, and she whimpers almost unconsciously. “You don’t...you don’t have to,” she chokes out, and suddenly hot tears are pricking at the corners of her eyes again. “I...I d-don’t…”

Jemma glances up, instantly alerted to the change in tone, and mumbles, “Ma’am? Daisy?”

“Sorry,” gasps Daisy, desperately trying not to cry again, “I’m sorry…” She rolls off of Jemma, swiping at her eyes.

Immediately Jemma is pushing herself up, hands flailing in the air. She wants to touch Daisy, comfort her, but touching her seems to be what set this off, so she’s not sure quite what to do. “Darling, you’re fine,” she says, soothing as she can. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“But, but I do,” hiccups Daisy. “And you’re being so nice to me and I don’t deserve that and you’re touching me like I might break any second but I’m, I’m the one who breaks things and I’m gonna break everyone else and-”

“No,” Jemma interrupts, more firmly than she ever says anything when they’re in bed together. “You mean the world to me and you deserve everything nice. You deserve to be touched like you’re the most, most wonderful person, because you are, to me.”

Daisy’s furiously pawing at her face, trying to make herself stop crying, and it takes her a minute to gasp, “Thank you, I, I don’t…”

“Don’t what?” Jemma whispers. “Daisy, can you tell me what you need?”

After a few more shuddering sobs, Daisy says, “More of, of that but not, not, touching not, um.”

Jemma tilts her head. “Just with my mouth, you mean? Not…”

“Yeah.” Daisy hangs her head a bit. “I’m sorry. It’s just, it’s too, too much.”

“It’s fine,” Jemma exclaims, leaning to kiss Daisy’s cheek. “I mean… there are ways to fix it.”

Daisy sighs. “Thank you. You’re so...so good.”

Jemma smiles. “Do you want to fix it?” she asks, repeating the last two words meaningfully.

“What?” sniffles Daisy. “What do you mean, fix it?”

“I mean, if you want to make sure I don’t…”

Daisy laughs, a bit shakily. “Yeah, yeah, that might be good. Would you like that?”

Jemma nods. “Especially if it’ll make you feel better,” she says. “I trust you.”

“Okay.” Daisy rubs at her eyes. “D’you have, uh, anything…?”

“Bobbi’s top drawer,” Jemma reminds, nodding in the right direction.

Sliding off the bed, Daisy shuffles over to the dresser and retrieves a scarf before coming back over. Jemma’s laid down on her back again, and Daisy eases herself over her before gently moving her wrists together. “This okay?”

“Very,” Jemma says. “I trust you.” She’s repeating herself, but it’s important.

Daisy breathes in and out, slowly, as she ties Jemma’s wrists together. “You too,” she murmurs, stroking down Jemma’s arms.

Jemma sighs contentedly. “I want that,” she says. “I want to be so good to you.”

“You are,” says Daisy. “Promise you are. You good?”

“Uh-huh,” Jemma whispers. “I’m all yours.”

“Same,” Daisy breathes, and gently eases herself up onto Jemma’s face again. “Okay, go ahead, honey.”

Jemma murmurs nonsense against Daisy before she begins, stretched out flat as she can so she absolutely won’t touch anywhere or any way she’s not supposed to. She wants to get this as close to their normal as she can. Daisy hums and sighs as Jemma begins to lick at her again. “Thank you,” she murmurs.

“Of course,” Jemma says softly, placing a kiss right on Daisy’s clit.

Daisy whines. “More?”

Jemma nods, looking up at Daisy as she starts to suck, to make sure that’s the right thing.

It very much is, as Daisy gently rolls her hips and moans. “So good, thank you.”

Pleased, Jemma increases her efforts, occasionally dragging her teeth over Daisy’s clit and immediately licking over it soothingly once she does, sucking and kissing as intently as ever. Daisy can’t help but let out whimpers and move against Jemma’s mouth. She’s losing control, a bit, but this time it’s in a good way. “H-honey, you’re amazing,” she slurs.

Jemma about purrs, her eyes closing as she moves her attention down Daisy’s folds, between them, anywhere she can reach. Her hands, out of the way, are grasping each other for want of anything else; her toes are curling.

Daisy’s so close that it’s not long after that that she comes, wailing probably too loudly but fuck it, no one’s going to investigate the noise. She slumps after she’s done, breathing hard. “God,” she pants. “Thank you, Jem.” Jemma giggles and Daisy takes this as a cue to slide off, flopping down next to Jemma. She nuzzles against Jemma’s skin. “You’re so pretty,” she says, slurring her words a bit.

“You’re the prettiest,” Jemma replies, licking her lips and grinning.

“You,” insists Daisy, feeling a bit drunk. “Do you, um, do you want-”

“Snuggles?” Jemma interrupts. “Yes, please.”

“Well, I meant orgasms.”

“I know,” Jemma shrugs, “but right now I’m more than happy with just snuggles. Treat me in the morning, maybe.”

Daisy tosses her arm over Jemma and nestles against her. “I can do that,” she murmurs. “I...I love you.”

“I love you too,” Jemma says. “Forever, all right?”

“Yeah.” Daisy presses a kiss to Jemma’s neck. “Always.”


End file.
